My Weight History

I have a memory of gobbling down fun-size candy bars as a little girl. We lived in Mankato, and my brother and I were usually home alone after school. I must have been in second grade, or so. I discovered my father's secret stash of Nestle Crunch bars. I thought I would just sneak one. But, I kept coming back to the stash, until there were just a pile of wrappers. I don't remember any questions from my parents about it. But I know my brother says he remembers me always eating a lot after school. Perhaps I was lonely, but I suppose that's when the bad habits started. I don't think my parents overfed us. We didn't have a lot of veggies growing up (we had a lot of potatoes, great on a pastor's salary!), but we had small portion sizes and fruit frequently.

When I was in fifth grade or so, I remember seeing a seventh grader on the playground, and realized that she didn't have the same little tummy fat roll that I did. Then, I looked around and noticed that most people didn't have that tummy roll! I had never thought about it before! Thus, I became body-conscious.

Off to boarding high school. I never had an eating disorder, per se. I (over) ate three meals a day in the cafeteria, and rarely had the money to buy snacks to keep in the dorms. But, there were always yummy treats that mom sent along with me from home, and parties, etc, where I would eat until I couldn't eat anymore....just in case I might get hungry again before the next meal in the cafeteria.

Freshman year in college went really well. I stayed busy. In the spring, I weaned myself from some thyroid medication over 6 weeks, and thus gained a lot of weight. My heaviest weight was 225 pounds. But, I went home that summer, confident that I could lose the weight. I joined the YMCA for the summer, and walked or ran several times a week. I'd had some experience with running from cross-country in high school, and some nutrition knowledge from classes in high school and college. Looking back, though, I probably ate too little that summer, and didn't lose weight like I had hoped. I was probably around 200 lbs when I returned for my sophomore year at Bethany.

I got married the summer between my sophomore and junior years at Bethany. Two weeks before we were married, I got back from spending three weeks in Africa. I had hoped to lose a few pounds while I was there. But didn't really have any tools to do so. When I changed my maiden name to my married name on my new driver's license, I listed my weight at 175.

Ryan and I really ate healthfully. We consumed mostly whole grains, usually had only one dessert a week, would snack on chips and salsa, etc. But, I've never really been interested in eating veggies. I only do it now to set a good example for my children. However, now I look back and understand that even though I was eating healthy food, I was eating too much of it- too many calories.

I crossed the 200 mark again with my pregnancy with Grace, and seemed to only lose her birth weight over the next few months. My body needed a lot of calories to make milk, but when I started gaining weight, rather than losing it, I knew something had to change. My mom had had some weight loss success at LA Weight Loss. We decided to put down the $800 (half of which I could earn back if I met my weight loss goal) and off I went. I started in July, and had reached 150 (my goal) by January. The accountability of the program was great, as well as food journal part. Late in January, we found out that God had blessed us with another baby, due in October. I had reached my weight loss goal, and was now cocky... I lost it once... I know how to eat well... I can lose it again. I ate whatever I wanted when I was pregnant with Rose. I ballooned back up to 210. Now, I don't at all mind gaining weight for my babies, however, I was abusing that privilege and eating more than I needed. After Rose was born, I still had several weeks left that I had previously purchased at LA Weight Loss, and I worked my way down, a little more slowly, back to 145. I was feeling great, and had so much energy! Then, God blessed again, with baby 3! My morning sickness was bad, and so I ate to control it, and blood sugar swings. And after those were gone, during the second and third trimesters, I just kept eating. Now, Price is nearly 5 months old, and I'm still at 194 lbs. I know just thinking about losing weight won't help me lose it, but that's what I've been trying to do for about 2 months. I haven't paid to join any program because, mentally, I know most everything they could teach me. I just need the accountability and I need to start. If God sees fit to bless us with more children, I don't want this cycle to continue. I want to reach a healthy weight, and stay there (plus 30 pounds if I'm pregnant- not 60!) This blog will be my accountability for losing weight and trying to become overall healthier in general.